Hey You,
Soon we’re entering the new year and this makes me think – as usual.
New year, blank page, new chances – one of the reasons why we tend to fool ourselves with false, unrealistic, not carefully framed promises to ourselves (and/or to others). While the tradition of new year’s resolution can be a nice activity, we need to be very careful and remember a couple of things:
- big changes won’t happen overnight
- changes are best achieved while practicing strong habits
- dreaming is not equal to planning
- resolutions should involve commitment
- commitment cannot be followed if our goals are too vague or unrealistic
- we don’t need to do things alone, we probably have a support system of people around who could help – as long as they’re aware of our goals or needs
First:
If we’re conscious enough, we can always take a blank page and create new opportunities – aka no need to wait for 1st January. This requires reflection and evaluation from time to time which is not the easiest thing. We might ask ourselves about how we are really feeling, if we find ourselves at the right place, if we are satisfied with where and who we are, if we are going to the right direction and so – and we should respond to these honestly.
Second:
If we’d like to engage in the power or magic of new year-new chances, let’s do that in a way that is kind to ourselves and effective. Here are a couple of things that I tend to do and seem to be way powerful than some “I will (not)…” promises.
1) Reviewing your core values
Maybe you have done value statements before, maybe not. Defining our values and the actions that represent those values help us to live in peace with who we really are – therefore it contributes to greater self-awareness, self-love, self-confidence, gratitude, joy, balance and much more. From time to time our core values can shape a bit hence it’s good to take a look at them critically from time to time. Why am I doing this instead of New Year’s resolutions? Because I do believe in my core values (no surprise), and want to commit myself to do more of those tiny bits that contribute to a life based on my values (aka living with/in integrity and authenticity). For example, if one of my core values is care (which actually is! 🙂 ), some things I could commit myself to is to pay more attention to people who are physically far from me (and still important to me) even if it’s more difficult due to the different obstacles. Specifically, this can mean having a calling rota or plan, or fixing monthly calls with certain people, for example.
Here you can find an extensive version for defining your core values, here you can find very different method. Both should help you with your value statement! 🙂
2) Create time and space for a great reflection
I’m a great fan of YearCompass, probably you also know this fantastic tool. If not, this is a journal you work on to consciously close one chapter (the year behind) and open a new one (the year ahead). It’s a pretty long workbook that you can print. I know it might be hard to find time to do this, I myself struggle with it sometimes, so here’s a reminder: no need to do it in one single go, this can be done step by step, in some days. A great cup of hot chocolate or tea, a nice blanket, some cosy lights and peaceful music usually make it easier and it’s a generally beautiful experience of self-discovery.
3) Declutter
Get rid of some noise so that you can hear, see, feel, or sense in any ways what you need, want etc. Run a physical cleaning and decluttering in your physical environment and get rid of what you don’t need, don’t serve you, hold you back, make you feel bad or so – your helping mantra is “keep?-recycle?-trash?-sell?-donate?”. When done, do the same in your online environment! Think about download folders, your desktop, your mailbox, the groups that you’re part of in Social Media, the accounts you follow, the newsletters you’re signed up to.
4) Gift yourself
I like talking about self-care so I won’t skip this now, either. Soon we’re entering the new year, and you might want to surprise yourself with something really special. Don’t look further, here I come with a cool one: write a letter to yourself! About your plans, your worries, your feelings, your ambitions – anything, just be kind and nice to yourself as you would be to your best friend please! You can do it in the old school paper way, but if you’re afraid it will be lost or so…, here‘s a guarantee: scheduled online letter to your future self! P.S.: yet another thing you don’t need to wait with until 1st January. 😉
5) Think SMART
If you’re up to putting down some goals, use the SMART tool.
- Specific: Well defined, clear, and unambiguous (aka PLAN over dream)
- Measurable: With specific criteria that measure your progress toward the accomplishment of the goal (aka PROGRESS over result)
- Achievable: Attainable and not impossible to achieve (aka KINDNESS over pressure)
- Realistic: Within reach, realistic, and relevant to your life purpose (aka NEED over desire)
- Timely: With a clearly defined timeline, including a starting date and a target date. The purpose is to create urgency. (aka DOING over postponing)
6) Think in tiny
As my coach friends wonderfully describe: “Habit is a behavior that we do automatically. A good habit is a behavior that puts things in order, saves time, makes life better and easier. There are a lot of good habits you do or can do every day. Tiny activities such as smiling, drinking water, setting your boundaries, or having time for yourself. They can make your day and those of your loved ones so much better. Consistently engaging in such activities will eventually improve your life. So why not try to add some more of them to your day?
Creating tiny good habits is like growing grass one leaf at a time. At first, you may not notice them in your life, but once you have enough, it is nice to walk barefoot on the soft grass (enjoy the benefits of your helpful habits).” – Check out their brilliant page for more on Tiny Habits®.
7) No drama, lama!
Don’t stress! Everything has its own time. We are not always at our best emotional, mental or even physical capacities to make plans and it is okay. There certainly are things that we need to sit with before engaging in action. The important is to go indeed once we are ready – tomorrow, next week or in a couple months.
Wishing you all a meaningful, fulfilling, happy new year – no matter if you count it from 1st January, or from any time of the year.
Good luck and take care,
Nora
